I'm an urban legend.

I'm the fear in the subway.

I'm here today to tell you, that yes, it's all true.

Three bumps and a score, pretty simple really.

Dress offensively to avoid eye contact, chains are good.  Ensure your pockets have been emptied and hop on a train, preferably uptown.

Bump.  Bump.  Bump.

The marks are easy to spot.  The shirt and tie vigorously punching the keys on his Blackberry.  The long red coat applying a second coat of lip gloss.  The naive tourist.

Snatching is what we call it.  The original name was flitching for "fast as flick of a switch", but in the end it needed to be changed to snatching, it sounds less recreational.  The news agreed.  When it was flitching we were nobodies, now we're snatchers.

The section labeled WARNING in the back of the tour guide.  I'm listed there under S.

Bump.  Bump.  Bump.

It's usually thirty minutes after when they notice.  Waddling up to the cashier at CVS, their only care in the world is paying for their package of Twizzlers, that's when they realize.  They've been snatched.

The first snatching brings fright, then annoyance.

The intrigue is what brings us in, then it’s addiction, shortly followed by dependency.

Regardless of the absurdity, if enough people talk about it, eventually it becomes commonplace.

Lean over.  Bump.  Look them in the eye and smile.  Make sure they glance over on the second bump, make them see the shredded clothing and scarred face.  It's okay, it's only makeup.

By the time the third bump hits they won't even bother to look.  Eventually everything loses fright and just becomes annoying.  They're just happy to see you go.

Beware.  Listen to the man wearing the garbage bag who says "We're all pretty much the same".

They will appear out of nowhere, maybe wearing a polo shirt, maybe a leather jacket, maybe a tie.  The only guarantee?  You won't see it coming.

Bump.  Bump.  Bump.

Maybe an "excuse me."  You won't acknowledge it.

The doors open.  Pockets are empty.

As the train pulls away from the platform you see a person in chains grinning.

It's at this point you know you've just been snatched.