|
|
Love
in the Aisles
V. Lee Parker Have you ever seen someone in love? I mean someone who has been admiring another from afar for a long time and won’t admit it or discuss it, even. Well, that’s how it was with my cousin Terry. Me and him both work at B&L’s Feed and Seed – that’s the one with the big sign of the cow walking on her hind legs with a grocery sack. The cow’s got this arched eyebrow and looks like she’s all in the know ‘cause she shops at B&L’s. I been working at B&L’s for six years, ever since high school graduation. And Terry’s been there for twelve. He’s kind of rose through the ranks, and Mr. Buck (the B in B&L’s) has got him on the management track. He says if Miss Lou, his wife, is willing, he wants Terry to take over the store one day. He never says much to me except get busy, Dwayne. Terry started having problems late last year when this girl started coming to B&L’s to buy ostrich feed. At the time we didn’t stock it so Terry had to sit down with her and look through some catalogues to find out what kind of feed ostriches need and whether we could get a hold of some. She told him she and her daddy had moved here from Dallas with the thought of starting an ostrich farm and supplying some swanky Dallas restaurants with ostrich meat. I know, I know – she sounds like a nut-head, right? Well don’t tell Terry that unless you want to fight him. He’ll slug anyone who makes fun of Kirstie. Every time Kirstie comes in the store for more supplies, Terry turns red and stutters. Even Miss Lou who is half-deaf noticed it. She said real loud and right in front of Kirstie, “What’s wrong with you, Terry? Ain’t never seen a girl?” Then she laughed and pounded the counter. Terry looked like he was going to stroke out. I ain’t never seen a human being turn that shade of purply-red before. I started to feel sorry for him then. I figured maybe I needed to help him out. The next time Kirstie came in, I made a point of talking to her, telling her about Terry mostly. It kind of went like this: “Hey there, Kirstie!” I get a smile and a giggle so I know I’ve got a foot-hold. “You know, I’m Terry’s cousin.” “Really?” she says and finally looks at me. She giggles again. “Terry’s a real nice guy. I go fishing with him almost every weekend. He talks about you a lot.” “That’s nice,” she says. More giggling. “Terry’s owns his own boat. He’s got a nice truck too.” She nods but kind of looks like her eyes are glazing over. “And a brand new trailer – double wide.” I can tell I’m losing her. She’s looking at the salt licks pretty close now. I move in and whisper in her ear. “How’s about a little get-together?” “Okay,” she whispers. “When?” “Tomorrow night. Just come back to the store. It’ll be open.” “Okay,” she says and runs off to the dog food aisle, giggling. Now I know you’re wondering what I was up to. It’s simple. Terry stays late on Friday nights to make sure the books are in order. He usually stays at the store until 7 or 8. I figured Kirstie would show up at the store and Terry could take it from there. No one would be around to see him turn red and stutter. I decided I wouldn’t tell Terry because I didn’t want him getting all nervous, or worse, beating the tar out of me for interfering. I had just settled down in front of the TV to watch Star Trek, the Next Generation when someone started hammering on my trailer door. I don’t appreciate that at all because my trailer is pretty old and already scuffed up and dented on the outside. I don’t need no more damage to it. I jerked open the door and yelled something obscene that I don’t want to repeat here in polite company. I stopped mid-curse when I saw it was Terry standing there. He was red in the face and his fists were clenched. I guessed it didn’t go so well with Kirstie and I said so. “That’s right,” he said and called me a few choice names. “She came looking for you.” “Huh?” I said. “She came sneaking in the store wanting to know where you were, Dwayne.” “It’s all a mistake,” I shouted. “I was trying to set her up with you.” Terry didn’t want to hear any of that and he started to rush up my steps and into my trailer, but I slammed the door shut and bolted it before he could push inside. He beat the daylights out of my door though. It looks like a moose had a head-butting contest with it, truth be known. After that, I swore off matchmaking, but I still have Kirstie to contend with. Now she comes to the store just to see me. She follows me around the aisles and tries to talk to me. Terry watches from the cash register and mutters things under his breath, like what he’s going to do to me if he can ever break inside my trailer. Something about a pickaxe and a chainsaw. I still haven’t figured out how I’m gonna set things right. But I’ve learned one thing for certain. Love don’t belong at the feed and seed. It’s best to keep emotions out of the business world, ain’t it? |
|