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MED SCHOOL MADNESS
by Michelle Baron "If your roommate kills himself they give you straight A's," Chris said. "That's a campus myth. They don't really." "I think they do." Chris took a swig from the bottle and wiped his mouth. "I could sure use the grades." "Me too," I said and took my own drink. We were in a bar just off campus. My fake ID said I was Steve Schering. Chris was David Griffen. We were both pre-med and the semester was kicking both our asses. "Who would you choose?" Chris said, deep into his second beer. "For what?" "Grades. If one of our roommates killed himself who would you want it to be?" "No one. That's sick." "Even if it got you into med school?" "Even if, you sick freak." He smiled and got up. "I'll get the next round." "We could do it," he said, a few pulls later. "Take someone out, make it look like a suicide." "Right." "Humor me. Who would you pick?" he said. "You're crazy." Half a bottle later I asked him how he'd do it. "Get him drunk then push him off Stack Hall." Stack Hall, referred to as Splat Hall during finals, was the tallest building on campus and attracted a few jumpers each year. "Good plan." I took another drink. "Who?" We lived with two other guys. Dan was a good roommate, neat and quiet but into his own thing. Spence was a pig but everyone loved Spence. "Spence. He's small, easy to push." "Spence? You can't get rid of Spence. He's a good guy." "OK, then Dan. You can help me with Dan." "Sure." I shook my head and the room spun. "Let's go. Finish your beer." "I'm good." He put some change on the table and we left, cutting through campus to get back to our apartment. Chris stopped in front of the life sciences building. "I've got to pick up some papers. Do you mind?" We rode the elevator to the top floor. "Instead of Stack, you could use this building," I said as we climbed. I had to hold myself up against the side of the elevator. "What?" "For your plan." "My plan?" "Your plan to get straight A's." He looked at me closely. "You know I was kidding, right?" I rolled my eyes, not bothering to answer, and followed him out and down the hall. He held open a door marked Exit. "Shortcut to the other wing," he said. We stepped out onto the roof and headed to a door on the other side. The air felt good and we stopped for a moment to enjoy it. When I looked up I saw Dan and Spence heading towards us. "What are you guys doing here?" I said, surprised. "Consider this your farewell party," said Chris. I looked at him confused. "But I'm not going anywhere." When Dan and Spence joined us I realized for the first time that I was the smallest of the roommates. |
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