Me and Shayna was stocking the shelves
at Wal-mart when it happened. Roy Wayne Strothers come in and bought up
all the Off in the store and then people started clamoring around and
shouting.
“Whar’s the Off?” they were yelling
and me and Shayna just shrugged.
“What can we do?” Shayna said.
“Ain’t none in the back. Y’all are gonna have to do without.”
“Well, all I can say is, if I get that
West Nile, I’m suing y’all.” That’s what Sherise Wilkins was
saying.
Shayna and me just laughed. We
always laugh at Sherise. She thinks she’s so great cause she’s
skinny. Buys those Buns of Steel videos and only eats salads at
McDonald’s.
“If you sue me, Sherise,” I said,
“I’ll sue you back for false charges.” That shut her up.
“When are y’all getting more Off in?”
Miss Deetles wanted to know. She’s the one with the big old
bouffant hair, like they used to wear in the sixties. We laugh at
her too. She’s always buying hair dye. Midnight Black or
Svelte Jet.
“The truck’s comin’ again on Friday,”
Shayna said. “Now whether there’s any Off on it is another
matter. We can’t predict Off.”
“Where’d all that Off go? I was
just here Saturday and y’all had a whole shelf full.” Wade Pulig
- now that’s a smart one.
“Why didn’t you buy it on Saturday,
Wade?” Shayna is so mean.
“Cause I didn’t know if I needed
it. Thought I had a can but I don’t.”
“Aww,” Shayna said, all sarcastic.
“Who bought all that Off?” Wade
demanded.
“Roy Wayne Strothers,” I said.
Wade turned all red in the face, and me and Shayna laughed.
There must have been twenty people by
this time looking for Off. All of them afraid of West Nile.
Some of them already skeeter bitten and afraid. When they
heard that Roy Wayne Strothers had made off with all the Off, there was
just mass hysteria, that’s all you can call it.
Well, me and Shayna was headed to the
skating rink after work to pick up my little brother and out there on
Highway 6 where Roy Wayne has his road side stand was all these police
cars and all these people getting cuffed and carried off. Roy
Wayne was holding his head and bleeding and his stand was
smashed. Looked like Wade Pulig had driven his truck right over
it. Even Miss Deetles was there, getting cuffed. Her
bouffant was all tore up. As we drove past, we could see Roy
Wayne’s sign lying in the dirt. “OFF-$20 A CAN, TWO FOR $35,” it
said in red letters.
“Greed, Shayna, that’s all it is,” I
said. And Shayna agreed and shook her head.