Spillway Review
Poetry

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The Stars

by Lauren Sassella

It told me that I must be pretty,
surround myself aesthetically,
or partner myself with a warm boy.
It told me that I need to find myself a spotlight
and let the ones above the rest
hold me even higher.
It told me that my attitude is my ally
and we are hated,
unappreciated.
It told me that I need to perform a severance,
I need to draw some distance,
but I have my ways and they will never be reduced to compromise.
It told me that I will never acquaint resolve,
my decisions are perpetually absent
and my guard is held too high.
It told me that I wish for all my wishes to be received
with the utmost respect or I am not at ease,
and I am not obliged.
It told me that I will wage war for lesser tension
if the battle is not mine.
It told me that the clouds around my head
are real enough for me to swear by
despite their sky-high nature
and my apparent lack of reality.
It told me that I am scared of being kept away-
I need my rest and reassurance,
I need my peace and restoration.
It told me that I am burdened by my burdens,
but I stand up and refuse to bow.
It told me that I’m unproductively stubborn.
It told me that I need to meet my aim,
my name has not been made yet.
I am not imperative, yet.
It told me that I refuse to be ignored,
I will not discourage my own catcalls.
I am in over my head.
I have blown myself out.
I refuse to admit defeat- stupid girl.
It told me that if I do not get my way,
then I will lay the blame on you.