It Never Ceases to Amaze
by Christine Fitzgerald
If I’m in the mood to amaze someone, I go down to
the Oriental Market and buy my sushi supplies. I’ve been there
twenty-five times, but the ladies there are always amazed. “You
make sushi?” they always ask, incredulous. I always say, “I
try.” I’m not sure they understand that. It can be the same
lady or a different lady. We always say exactly the same thing.
The Oriental Market is really a Korean market, but
it calls itself the Oriental Market. There is nothing but
interesting stuff in the Oriental Market. Unfortunately, I don’t
know what any of it is. Every now and then I get some
noodles. I’ve also gotten something called Mochi. It’s a
frozen dessert consisting of a ball of sweetened rice paste with jelly
in the middle. I had another kind with ice cream in the middle on
a trip to California, but you can’t get that kind here. The
staffers at the Oriental Market seem to know that they are not stocking
the good kind of Mochi. When I get the stuff with the jelly in
the middle, they ask, “Ha yu had dis before?” in disbelief.
They are practically saying, “Don’t get this awful stuff.” I can
tell they wouldn’t eat it. It is pretty nasty next to the type
with ice cream in the middle, but it’s the closest thing I’ve found.
I really go to the Oriental Market for the
rice. I buy a big bag of sushi rice. You have to use sushi
rice. Tonya, if you’re reading this, don’t use brown rice, okay?
Before I make sushi, I also have to go to Super
Wal-Mart. That’s where they have the little packages of smoked
salmon, also known as lox. I put lox, cream cheese (NOT low fat cream cheese), avocado, and
cucumber on sushi. The avocado and cucumber are optional.
The rice, the lox, and the cream cheese are not optional.
Naturally, Super Wal-Mart does not have the sea weed sushi
wrapper. I get those at Albertson’s. Believe it or
not, these things are cheaper at Albertson’s than at the Oriental
Market. Actually, in a pinch, the seaweed is
optional. You can put the rice, the cream cheese, the lox, and
whatever else you have on a plate and eat it together, without
rolling it up in any wrapper. I call that poor man’s sushi.
I was going to describe exactly how to make the
sushi, but I’ve been informed by the editorial staff that it won’t be
necessary as an instructional video is being posted. Sayonara,
and happy sushi-making!