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Why Tommy Galantana Will Never Be
Famous
by
Marcy Dumond
Hollydays is a shopping opportunity put on by the Junior League of Baton Rouge in the downtown civic center. At Hollydays people can go and buy stuff that would otherwise be at the mall. Some portion of the proceeds go to a civic cause. Two women in their early forties, fashionably dressed and well-preserved, are shopping at Hollydays. As they shop and talk, the women communicate about the merchandise with gestures and extreme eyebrow motions. In this way they are able to hold a conversation about the clothes and their mutual former boyfriend at the same time. Former Sorority Sister 1: Tommy
Galantana is publishing his poetry on the internet.
Former Sorority Sister 2: (Snort
of a laugh.) So what’s it like?
FSS1: It’s
like an extremely close look at his own navel, with an occasional
glance up at the whores who trudge through his life. Every
third word is a curse word or something else that is intentionally
offensive.
FSS2: With
my luck, he’ll end up becoming famous and writing a movie or something
and he’ll be up there getting the academy award, and NOT thanking me,
or worse yet, mentioning me in some sort of offensive way.
FSS1: Yes,
that would be just like him. At the first opportunity to speak
publicly, to mention all former girlfriends and embarrass them.
FSS2: Wouldn’t
that be awful -- f0r both of us.
FSS1: Don’t
you worry. He is NOT going to be famous or anything.
FSS2: You
are so right. HELL-OH. RE-ALITY!!! Who wants to hear
about his navel, and whores, or us for that matter.
FSS:1: You
can double count on him not to be famous. I put a Chi O gris-gris
hex on him. (She waves her long fingernails.)
FSS2: Seems
to be working well so far. (They laugh and continue shopping.)
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